You might be a Farmer if...

When I was younger I always loved when October rolled around, because that meant free banquet dinners for the farm. I will always remember one Farm Bureau Annual Meeting. Each year they would always have a guest speaker, this time was Joe Peck. Mr. Peck is a dairy farmer, as well as a humorous speaker. That year he had published a book and was there to promote it, as well as lift up the spirits of the farmers in the audience. Afterall, a little bit of humor is good for you. The stories he told that night and the stories that are in his book, "A Cow in the Pool," are ones that never get old. I believe I have read his book more than a dozen times and always find a different story I can relate to. In his book, one of the sections is "You might be a Farmer if...", I thought I would share some of my favorites, as well as a list of how to tell real farmers.

You Might be a Farmer if...

• You can get a good night's sleep in 20 minutes
• On your honeymoon, you stopped at every farm machinery dealer you passed
• Your idea of a romantic date is a free dinner at the co-op annual meeting
• You know how to pull a calf, but can't change a diaper
• There is more oil on your coveralls than in your car
• You can fix anything with baler twine, a jackknife and duct tape
• And my favorite.. you wear your barn clothes to the supermarket just so everyone will let you through the checkout line first. 

Real Farmers...

• Don't jog, you see them running, they probably stepped on a hornet's nest
• Never walk in the rain, but they do drive tractors in the rain, snow and bitter cold
• They don't drink diet soda or 2% milk or eat tofu
• Don't flinch when they snap on jumper cables
• Have no respect for mailmen who are late, milk truck drivers who are early and milk inspectors who are on time
• Hate power failures at chore time, salesmen at mealtime, and nosy neighbors who ask, "just how much did that cost?"
• And the ultimate reason.. Real farmers are driven by a deep sense of pride in everything they do and the blind hope that next year will be better than this year has been so far.

It's always good to find some humor in a gloomy situation. Farmers have had a few rough years, no shock to anyone, but it does not mean we give up. By seeing the light in every situation and knowing how farmers really are unique, makes things a lot better.


For more from Joe Peck, I encourage anyone to read his book.

Peck, J. (2001). A Cow in the Pool & Udder Humorous Farm Stories. Saratoga Springs: Peckhaven Publishing.